“ . . . Let him who is received promise in the oratory, in the presence of all, before God and His saints, stability, the conversion of morals, and obedience, in order that, if he should ever do otherwise, he may know that he will be condemned by God "Whom he mocketh." Let him make a written statement of his promise in the name of the saints whose relics are there, and of the Abbot there present. Let him write this document with his own hand; or at least, if he doth not know how to write, let another write it at his request, and let the novice make his mark, and with his own hand place it on the altar. When he hath placed it there, let the novice next begin the verse: "Uphold me, O Lord, according to Thy word and I shall live; and let me not be confounded in my expectations" (Ps 118[119]:116). Then let all the brotherhood repeat this verse three times, adding the Gloria Patri.

The let that novice brother cast himself down at the feet of all, that they may pray for him; and from that day let him be counted in the brotherhood. If he hath any property, let him first either dispose of it to the poor or bestow it on the monastery by a formal donation, reserving nothing for himself as indeed he should know that from that day onward he will no longer have power even over his own body.

Let him, therefore, be divested at once in the oratory of the garments with which he is clothed, and be vested in the garb of the monastery. But let the clothes of which he was divested by laid by in the wardrobe to be preserved, that, if on the devil's suasion he should ever consent to leave the monastery (which God forbid) he be then stripped of his monastic habit and cast out. But let him not receive the document of his profession which the Abbot took from the altar, but let it be preserved in the monastery.”  Rule of Saint Benedict, Chapter 18.

    This portion of the rule was read to us during our first day of our annual Oblate retreat. It describes the entry of a monk, not an Oblate to a monastery. I should note since the Rule has never been enforced literally, you won’t see too many strip teases in the oratory.  I also note Oblates, like monks do sign a letter of intent, on the altar, and leave it there in the care of God and the Abbey.

     Lot’s of things pop out at me from this section of the Rule, but the very last sentence hit me the hardest. Even if a monk or an oblate chooses to leave a monastery, something is left behind. In this case it is the original request the novice wrote asking to be admitted to the community. I have a feeling Benedict intended the presence of such a note, kept safely behind the abbey’s walls, might be a tether drawing the former novice back to the community.

    On reflecting on this reading, I realized there are many congregations where I have left some of my self behind; something that connects me to them no matter how far I wander in other places. In the very first church I ever attended, there is a prayer room containing a small pew, a kneeling pad, and the most awful illuminated picture of Jesus I have ever seen. But there is a sense of the divine in that room and I feel drawn back there after years have passed.

    There have been other congregations where I was a member, and where  I felt the formation of this permanent tie. Even though the congregation itself may no longer exist, the tie remains. I have also felt the tie in some congregations where I have served as a pastor. Regrettably there are also ones where the tie is completely absent.

    The strongest tie to me is my tie to St. Benedict’s Abbey. My original Oblation, the one I signed on the altar, is still there. But the connection goes deeper still. I feel connected through the rhythm of prayer and work, by the offering of Benedictine hospitality, by the love of the monks and oblates for God, and for so many reasons I cannot count them all. I have a sense this connection will be with me for eternity; drawing me always back to my spiritual home.

    If you are looking for a place to worship, or if you’re desperately trying to find something permanent that matters in this fast paced and too often frenetic world, check out a church of Jesus Christ. But look for one where something of yourself seems to be left behind. If  you don't find it at first keep one looking! It'sWhen you find that place, the place you’re drawn back again and again, you will have found your spiritual home. Don’t put off looking for it. If my own experience is any guide, you won’t find peace until you have found this place; this place where something of you remains forever. My prayer is that you will find it and embrace it soon.

In Christ’s Peace,

Brother Oscar Romeo, Obl OSB

     "And so we are going to establish a school for the service of the Lord. In founding it we hope to introduce nothing harsh or burdensome. But if a certain strictness results from the dictates of equity for the amendment of vices or the preservation of charity, do not be at once dismayed and fly from the way of salvation, whose entrance cannot but be narrow (Matt. 7:14). For as we advance in the religious life and in faith, our hearts expand and we run the way of God's commandments with unspeakable sweetness of love. Thus, never departing from His school, but persevering in the monastery according to His teaching until death, we may by patience share in the sufferings of Christ (1 Peter 4:13) and deserve to have a share also in His kingdom." - the Prologue to the Rule of St. Benedict

     I miss the time when I knew everything. Most of us have those times in our lives. Usually they come during the teenage years or in our early 20's. But pastors have another chance to know everything. It happens when we graduate from seminary.

     We enter seminary in a state of excitement which soon gives way to uttter confusion. There is so much to learn and a good deal of it is hard to learn, at least for a 40 something brain.If you don’t believe me try learning Hebrew after you’ve been out of school for a long time!  We learn all about the sin of envy when we watched the seniors, aka students in their third and last year of study. They knew everything! At least it seemed that way. And when we became seniors we thought we knew everything too! Wrong!

     Our real awakening comes when we are first ordained. That seems especially true for those who are solo or senior pastors. It took me about a week, or less, to figure out I wasn’t in Kansas anymore. All that learning from seminary was good, useful, and necessary.  But I found I still knew so little that it was close to nothing.  I’ve learned a lot since then, but I still have so much to learn that I will never learn it all, not by a longshot.

     When I first traveled to my spiritual home, St. Benedict’s Abbey, I thought I was going to meet the people who did know everything. Imagine my surprise when it was emphasized that a monastery is not the home of spiritual giants but beginners in the faith. They followed a way that Benedict described as “a School of the Lord’s Service;” a place where beginners strive to grow in their relationship with God.

     There is a certain relief in realizing that monks have the same problems and temptations as everyone else.  But at the same time there is a reminder that they also have the Rule as a constant reminder of their need for constant conversion; falling and getting up again and again but persisting in walking Christ’s Way.

For me an Oblate of St. Benedict’s Abbey, there Rule is also a reminder of how little I know about the Way; how little I know about my own walk with God.     Thank you Father Benedict for your reminder of how little I know. It’s the best reminder I know to keep my mind constantly open to learn and grow, as I study in your school.

     "Idleness is the enemy of the soul; and therefore the brethren ought to be employed in manual labor at certain times, at others, in devout reading." - Rule of Saint Benedict, Chapter 48

    It has been a long time since I've written here. There is a good reason, and a bad reason for that.  Both reasons involve the Benedictine watchwords, "Ora et labora," prayer and work.

    In early March, I began a full time interim of two  yoked congregations. Things have been really busy. That wasn't really a surprise as I knew that being part time pastor for two churches would turn out to be at least one and a half of the work of a full time pastor. What was the surprise was the way it changed my prayer life. Being this busy has made me more intentional about the hours of prayer. And the combination of work and prayer have begun to merge.  I think I am beginning to understand, and taking a small step toward the rhythm Benedict intended.

    But Benedict also preached moderation in all things. And when I saw how long it had been since I posted on this blog, I knew my balance was still a bit off. So Father Benedict, I confess I have let one part of work push out others. I intend to mend that in the future.